Lies Be Told. Truth: Unknown [Part 2]

I hope my thoughts weren't revealed while I was zoning. That wouldn't be to good. Maybe this Caleb boy was just really concerned cause I probably do look sick. He wasn't snooping...or was he? I don't know. I probably should stop jumping to conclusions but I can't help it. Thoughts were zipping in and out of my mind, in turn causing a huge headache to form. I really need to stop doing that, I'm overanalyzing things again and it's getting to me. My thoughts were cut-off once again by someone behind me saying "Well if it isn't Mr. Caleb Bowan" loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. I looked at Caleb who was looking at whoever was behind me and saw annoyance and dread creep on his face while his smile grew grim and tight. Curiosity sparked in my mind as I looked upon the emotions running across Caleb's face. I finally decided that I would turn around and look upon the inturder of my thoughts and the person causing the unease of Caleb. My eyes fell upon a girl who I knew right away I wouldn't ever get along with. I wasn't much of a judgemental person when first seeing someone but looking upon her I knew right away that she was one of the rich snobby girls that causes drama and insults everyone just to make herself feel good. Although a new emotion hit me and it hit me unexpectedly. I tried pushing it aside telling myself I was being stupid and how I shouldn't feel such a strong emotion as that. As much as I pushed against it jealous worked its way up the jealousy meter. She was quite attractive. I would say the perfect girl: long gorgeous blond hair, big blue-eyes, long curled eyelashes, hour glass shaped, and nicely dressed to show off what she had. To be honest with you this girl had it going for her. She carried the aura of confidence but along with it she carried arrogance and cockiness. I realized that I wasn't the only one, other than Caleb, staring at the mysterious blondie. As I kept my gaze on her while she kept her gaze fixed on Caleb, I saw a mischievious smile play across her lips for a brief moment. I grew uneasy, not for me, but for Caleb. Wait why do I even care? I hardly know him. Still the feeling of uneasiness grew as the girl bore her gaze into Caleb. I turned back around and looked at Caleb, for a second he broke eye contact with her and looked at me. I met his gaze but then he looked back up at her. If you stayed focus on Caleb you could see slight tension in the muscles of his arm and the continous twitching in his lips. As an observer, looking further down at his hands you would have seen that he had them balled up. Me being who I am I didn't stop at that observation, I looked at Caleb as a whole and you could see his entire stance was tense. The vibes reputing from Caleb were filled with tension. I continued to fix my eyes on him and watched as he nodded his head once at her then turned back around to face the teacher and continued discussing whatever it was he had to discuss with her.. I wasn't sure what he was talking about to her because he was speaking at a level to which only someone right there in front of him could hear. Behind me I heard the girl laugh under her breath, a laugh only someone very very close to her would only hear. I finally tore my gaze off of Caleb and looked about the room. I noticed it was quite organized. As I was about to fix my gaze forward I saw the color blue flash in front of me. My focus snapped into place only to find that it was Caleb's shirt, a shirt that defined his muscles quite nicely. Oh damnit Adalia what are you thinking!!!

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I sat next to Adalia. Thoughts were bouncing around in my head. Thoughts of Adalia and Carlene. What the hell is Carlene doing here? I thought she was going to stay in North Carolina. I swear to God if she convinced her parents to move down here because of me I'm going to just drive myself insane. She is beyond psycho. I looked over at Adalia and everything looked like it was going to be okay as long as she was going to be here. "Carlene Fitzgerald." "Right here. Do you mind if you get one of the other students to pass back my schedule please?" "Uhm excuse me?" Before Carlene could answer some random kid jumped up and grabbed her schedule to hand it to her. Carlene smirked with satisfaction. I was disgusted at this sight. People were pratically bowing down and kissing her feet already and she's new. How messed up was that?

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-to be continued... :)

Lies Be Told. Truth: Unknown [Part 1]

I'm sixteen as of the moment and I'm a junior. Oh the glory days of being an eleventh grader. Ha! Who am I kidding, I have no feelings of excitement for my junior year. It's the first day and I already know what I'm in for. I've been in this god forsaken program for two years now and it hasn't gotten any easier. Sure sophomore year was a little less hard but that's only cause I...wait no all of us got used to how things worked in the IB program. IB of course stands for International Bacculeareate. It's a program for basically parents who want to ruin their children's lives by putting them in there. I'm just messing really, sure you can look at it from that point, but it's a program for people who want to challenge themselves in their education. The classes are structured around college courses. So yes! It's basically college dumbed down to a high school level but still just as hard. Anyways, back to what I was saying, sophomore year was a bit of a blur to me. I really don't know why but it doesn't matter all that much anyways, as long as I made the grades that has put me where I am now. Although I must say that the summer before my junior year was not so much a blur. It was painted clear on my mind as I sat in my homeroom class partially listening for my name to be called so that I could receive my schedule and see what I'm in for this year. I tried pushing the thoughts of my summer aside but they kept popping back up as if the events of that specific day had just happened yesterday. Was it wrong that I had kept a secret like that for so long, that it started weighing me down more and more as a day would end and a new one started? The secret was now out and amongst the many people who knew me or my family, only a select few knew all of what happened. "Adalia..." I looked up and watched the face of my teacher as she stared at my lastname. The lines of struggle was etched across her forehead as she tried to figure it out in her head. It's "Do-yan-sue-in." "Oh why thank you. Here's your schedule." I got up and walked down the aisle up to her podium and took my schedule out of her hands and said "Thank you." She smiled and nodded her head in reply then looked back down at the role to call out the rest of the names. I stared for but a moment pleading with my eyes for her to look back up and see the pain imprinted upon my face and coursing through my veins mixing amongst my blood. Sadly though, she didn't so I turned around and walked back to my desk masking my desperation for help. I looked about the room and realized I knew no one in the room that I could socialize with, the feeling of being alone hit me and my stomach twisted into knots. I looked down and stared upon the palms of my hands, studying the lines and tracing them with the tip of my finger. My tracings brought up the memories of the dreadful summer. My hands clenched into fists and the room felt hot, I grew tense as those memories drowned everything out. My breathing grew heavier and heavier; I closed my eyes tightly ready for anything terrible to happen. I jumped slightly when I heard a husky voice call my name, "Adalia?" I let out a slight breath of relief and felt myself going back to normal. "Adalia, is that you?" I blinked a few times then turned around to see this boy standing tall behind me. My mind struggled to attach a name to his face but it could not. "Hey Adalia." I stared at him, probably with the word dumbass written all over my face.

"It is you! Don't you remember me?"

I shook my head slowly and finally spoke "No. I'm sorry."

"Oh well I'm Caleb. Does that name jog your memory? By the way are you alright?" "Caleb...Caleb...Caleb...nope I'm sorry I don't recall. Yes, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"Caleb Bowan? Because you look a little pale and kind of sick."

"Bowan? Caleb Bowan? The name sounds familiar. Are you new here? Oh and I'm not exactly feeling too well. I guess it's those first day jitters."

"Oh I see. Well I'm somewhat new to Pensacola but not exactly. I am..."

He was cut-off by the teacher announcing his name to get his schedule. He looked up then back at me and said "Be right back." I nodded and gave him a smile. A forced smile that has been plastered on my face everytime I needed people to believe that I was still me and that I was alright. While Caleb was up there getting his schedule and chatting with the teacher, my thoughts started wandering back to summer. My hands clenched into fists once more but I took a deep breath and pushed the thoughts away for now. I can't risk exposing too much. I thought to myself, how lucky I got with Mr. Bowan. If only he knew what I'm going through. Little did Adalia know that she'd be spending time with Caleb much more than she'd expect with a guy. Little did Caleb know that the two of them would become very close and that he'd get caught up in something he really wasn't expecting, especially with him being new and all.

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-Tell me what you think. :)

Lies Be Told. Truth: Unknown [Introductory]

I'm 17 and I have my life planned out but not the kind of plans people would expect out of a seventeen year old. I guess I'm just different. When I'm twenty I'm going to disappear and there will be people who will do anything and everything trying to find out what happened to me, but the sad thing is, is that they won't. There will be one who gets really close to finding out the truth and the whole story of my disappearance and why it happened, but he will stagger and fail at revealing all of it. Only because I will not allow him to beat me.

As the years go by I grow older, but the years that were to influence my life the most were going to be known as my high school years.

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-Just a story that I started writing :) Some of you will enjoy it. Some of you will not.

The Torture of Seperation

She touched him as if he would break or cry out in pain.

His skin was so soft and smooth.

How could anything so innocent looking be a huge burden on her life.

She had nowhere to go and no one to turn to for help.

Her mind cried out to her saying, saying she must let him go.

But the thought of leaving him behind pained her.

She wondered at the pain she would feel, if and when she actually leaves him.

Would she be able to endure it?

The pain she was feeling now from the mere thought of it had her entire body screaming in agony.

It was torture.

Invisible Hand

A small part of her realized that she was giving up everything by taking his hand and trusting him. Did she care? To be honest she had no opinion about life anymore, she could careless about what was going to happen. Life to her was nothing.

She thought of herself as being only a living body with a dead soul. She woke up each day saying to herself "the life inside me has been ripped apart into pieces by an invisible hand. The same hand that's keeping me from waking up from this nightmare. Why can't I just fight it?"

The answer to that wasn't as simple as the question made it to be. That was until he came along and offered his services. The promises he laid out for her was everything she had always wanted. It was as if he had known her since the day she first opened her eyes to the world welcoming her life.

The invisible hand became real as his grasp tightened. She looked up and stared deep into his eyes and saw her reflection of her fear. It finally hit her that this was not what she wanted but it was too late. Her fate was sealed.

You Shall Speak Up & I Shall Answer

You spoke up and you said to me,

"I want to fall in love with you, is that okay for me to do?"

And I answered,

"I'm sorry but love does not exist in my world. So no its not okay to fall in love with me cause I won't fall in love with you."

You spoke up and said to me,

"But why does love not exist for you? Why won't it be okay to fall in love with you? Why won't you love me too?"

And I answered,

"You ask so many 'why' questions but I shall answer. Because to me love just does not exist. I loved once but it was stripped from me. I cried. I hurt. I felt the most unbelieveable pain ever; I never thought a pain like that existed in such a world like ours. I never want to experience that ever again. It's not okay to love me because I won't love you back. You'll just be wasting your time on someone who is incapable of the so called 'love' you speak of. Because love just does not exist. I won't love you because I'm incapable of loving someone. Realize what I am trying to emphasize to you. I tried it once but it just wasn't right, it just never worked, and it just doesn't exist."

You hesitated, looked at me, and then you spoke up and said to me,

"Maybe love does not exist for you, but for me love exists. The only reason for this is because everytime I look at you the feeling just washes over me. That is when I realize that I am in love. Just like your experience of an 'unbelieveable pain,' I happened to experience an unbelieveable feeling like no such other. That was the feeling of falling in love. Yes I must say it, falling in love with you. You fell in love once and got hurt, but why not fall in love again and risk the pain because you never know if you'll be the one delivering that 'unbelieveable pain' for once nor will you know if love is just right, if it is working for you, and if it truly does exist. You know how you said you were stripped of love, well aren't you doing the same to me? Does that mean I'm bound to cry? Bound to hurt? Bound to feel the most unbelieveable pain ever; that you never thought a pain like that existed in such a world like ours? Of course I'm bound to such a fate but is not everyone else? Everyone once in their life experiences the pain. I believe loving who ever you want is okay regardless if they return the love or not. You are not incapable of love. You are one of the most loving people I have come to discover in life and I am glad to have discovered you. So grasp that thought, understand that thought, and believe that thought that I have just set before you. Wasting time loving? Never heard of such a thing. Love is love, not a waste of time. If you love someone they must have been worth something. Don't you agree? Will you please try loving once more?"

And I stared at you speechless for but a moment, I opened my mouth ready to answer but no words came out right there, and then I felt warm tears spill from my eyes that I thought were lifeless. I touched my face with the tips of my fingers and I looked upon them in wonder. It was the first time I've felt warmth in my tears, for the last time that tears fell from my eyes, they had the feeling of cold death. The world that I lived seemed to have resumed to move once again, but I did not understand how it could have gotten unfrozen. The unbelieveable pain that had so wrapped around my life like a snake, constricting it of life itself, had diminished but not completely.

-It's repetitive I know but read in between the lines. :] Maybe you'll get it the way I meant for you to get it. :]

Your Eyes

What am I in your eyes?

I want the truth. I want your honesty.

Because I am truly becoming confused and lost.

I don't like being this way.

I want stability. I want clarity. I want you.

Why can't I have you? Why won't you just tell me?

Why can't you just give me a definite answer?

I don't understand you.

One day you want me. Another day you push me far away.

Why do you do this to me? Why do you play such games?

My emotions are losing themselves.

I can't handle what you're doing to me anymore.

But yet here I am.

Listening to your words. Holding onto them for dear life.

Believing your promises. Believing your lies. Believing you.

Why? I don't know.

Why do I do this to myself? I don't know.

Do you realize what you're doing to me?

Probably not. I seem to be invisible now.

I'm about to shatter into millions of pieces.

But will you care? I don't know.

Would it matter much to you? I don't know.

Would you even notice? I don't know.

Who will care?

Who would it matter much to?

Who would even notice?

I just don't know anymore.

Look what you've done.

Tell me what am I in your eyes?

The truth please.

Your honesty please.

I'm tired of the confusion.

Tired of being lost.

I hate being that way.

It's time for stability.

Time for clairty.

Do I want you anymore?

I don't know.

Because the way I've become was because of you.

I don't like the way I've becmoe.

So do I want you?

What are you in my eyes now?

What am I in your eyes?

I need answers.

Wake Up

Close your eyes

Prepare to dream

Something extraordinary

Something out of this world

Open your eyes

Prepare for reality

The vanishing of your own world

The replacement of a world made for everyone

You succeed in your own world

No hard work

No struggles

Time moves at your own will

Succession and failure are one in reality

The hard work

The struggles

As time passes you by

Close your eyes or open them

You're dreaming or you're facing reality

It's your choice

It's your life

Shattered

I closed my eyes for a mere second but they flew opened when I heard something shatter. A pain coursed through my body, no pain I've ever experienced. I decided to get up anyways and see what was going on. Each step I took hurt even more. What was wrong with me? I didn't know. I turned on lights after lights after lights hoping to discover soon what had shattered, so that I may go to bed and sleep off this excruciating pain. I checked everywhere but I saw nothing was broken. No glass. Just nothing.

I guess the sound was just all in my head. I must be tired that I'm dreaming the noise. I grew cold and started shivering yet beads of sweat was breaking out on my forehead. I wiped the sweat and looked at my palm with confusion. Was I getting sick? My mind started racing through everything I did today, every drink I had, every food I ate, everything! I got back to my room and sat on the side of my bed, inhaling and exhaling deeply.

I looked to my right and saw my phone gleaming under the lamp light. The gleam of it made it look as if my phone were winking at me, taunting me to reach out and grab it. Yeah, I am most definitely sick. I reached out and grabbed my phone ready to call my mother and ask her what to do. I pressed a random button and the screen lit up to a message. I stared at it for a few minutes and that's when everything hit me.

Everything came flooding back and it was drowning me. I couldn't breathe, I shivered as I continued to stare at the phone. Then I heard it again, something shattering. I clutched at my chest and that's when I knew what the shattering was. It was my heart being broken into a billion pieces once more.

-Enjoy :]